Today was one of those days that tested me as a parent and broke my heart as an animal lover.
It didn’t start out that way. I went to work ready to get through my day, not knowing how much I would be carrying by the time I came home. But let me start from the beginning.
The Morning Milo Went Missing
That morning, my dog, Milo, woke up barking because he needed to go outside. My kids had fed him late the night before, which isn’t our usual routine, so he needed a bathroom break earlier than normal.
I asked my daughter to take him out, but she ended up leaving him outside.
When I got up to get ready for work, everything was quiet. I didn’t think much of it. I figured Milo had already gone to the bathroom and was somewhere lying down, sleeping.
Then I walked downstairs.
No Milo.
I told my kids to look for him when it got light outside. I had to go to work, but I was waiting and hoping for a call saying they had found him.
Instead, the call came: still no dog.
I wanted to cry. Not having a vehicle meant I couldn’t just leave work and go search for him myself. I was stuck trying to do my job while worrying about where he was and whether he was safe.
Then Came the Phone Calls
Hours later, my phone rang again—but this time, it wasn’t news about Milo.
My two oldest daughters were fighting. Arguing, screaming, hollering. Those two struggle to get along, and there I was, spending my lunch break trying to calm them down over the phone.
I still had hours left at work.
Meanwhile, Milo was still missing.
It felt like I couldn’t even sit with one worry before another one demanded my attention. I was trying to be an employee, a mother, and a worried dog owner all at once, and I couldn’t give any of it my full attention.
Getting Home Didn’t Mean Getting a Break
When I finally got off work, my mom picked me up, and I went to the grocery store.
My phone kept going off.
“I’m hungry.”
“I’m hungry.”
I was already trying to get food for the house, already doing what needed to be done. But the calls and messages kept coming, and when I finally got home, there was still chaos.
All I wanted was a moment to breathe. A moment to be sad. A moment to think about Milo without having to settle an argument or answer another demand.
That moment never seemed to come.
Loving My Kids While Feeling Overwhelmed
Parenting is a big responsibility, and today I felt the weight of it.
I love my kids. But I’m not going to pretend they aren’t a handful sometimes.
I try hard to watch what I say when I’m upset. I don’t want my frustration to turn into words that hurt them or make them feel small. But there are moments when holding those words back takes everything I have.
Today was one of those moments.
I was upset about Milo being left outside. I was worried because we couldn’t find him. And I was frustrated that, in the middle of all that, I still had to manage fighting and demands without much room for my own feelings.
The love was still there. So was the exhaustion.
Still Hoping for Milo
After almost two years with Milo, his absence hurts.
He’s part of our family. I’m used to him being here, and the quiet feels different knowing he isn’t somewhere in the house resting.
The hardest part is not knowing where he is. I’m sad, worried, and still hoping he’ll come back.
Today, I didn’t have everything together. I worked, worried, handled what I could, and tried my hardest not to let my frustration speak for me.
And underneath it all, I missed my dog.
Milo, wherever you are, I hope you’re safe. More than anything, I hope you come home.
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